her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
