The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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