After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
