on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
