Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Four minutes until I can fart!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
