I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
