I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize