he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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