come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
