I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
