thus making me awesome and them whores
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
