were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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