even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
