separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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