you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
