and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
