very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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