when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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