He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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