He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
