Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
