All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
