I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
