Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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