return my video game
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
