Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
