Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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