I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
