I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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