It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
