I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
