I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
