I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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