somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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