Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
