Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize