apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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