Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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