It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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