Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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