wanna go halves on a baby?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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