I CAN MOONWALK!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize