...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
