i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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