woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's never too late to be topless.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
