It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
