she looked like the bat from fern gully.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
