whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
