I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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