your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize