i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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