I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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