just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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