i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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