Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I lost the right to judge tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
