That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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