I just made out with a guy for $7.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
