Where did you get a picture of my penis
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
