I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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