come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
