Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
