so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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