I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
