sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
