The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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