Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
