I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
