I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize