I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
