bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
